No clowning around!

You think the weather's been bad around here, in parts of England they're experiencing a bad drought. So bad in fact, they're asking circus clowns to not use water. Imagine...no "dribble glasses," no spilling a bucket of water on one another, not even a flower that squirts water! This is horrible, but it could be worse. Perhaps next they'll be prevented from all piling into a small car (not enough seat belts for them all I'm sure.) Or maybe a leather shortage will require them to stop wearing those oversize shoes. And don't get me started on the face paint...between the clowns and Tammy Faye, the manufacturers can't keep up!

Another novelty tie

Wow, tomorrow is already June 1st. Father's Day is coming up. Are you getting dad another tie? Here is one he might actually wear, if you don't mind the $85 price tag. It's a tie with a pouch on the back for his I-pod. Yup, gadgets are a big deal and dads always love them. Power tools are a safe bet too. Or something for the car or accessories for the grill, anything that makes him feel manly. Hope this gives you some ideas.

Steve Parker for Dummies

Death on the mountain

A sad story today. You may have read that an Englishman died on Mt. Everest, running out of oxygen while descending. It's a tragedy made worse by the fact that he was passed by other hikers on their way up. In fact, the only party to even stop was that of double amputee Mark Inglis (I know you heard about his climb on the news.) He claims their expedition manager basically said there's no hope for the guy, so keep on hiking. But could he have been saved? We'll never know now. No less an athority than Sir Edmond Hillary, who made the climb in 1953, said he would have stopped and done everything possible to rescue the man. It's been said the reason to climb a mountain is because it's there, I believe the reason to stop and help is because we care.

Chicken Fry time

On any given Spring and Summer weekend in Springfield you can follow the signs to a chicken fry at one of the clubs on the lake. This weekend it's a Jimmy Buffet party at the Prop Club. Always a great time, with beer, food and music, you should try to catch a few of these parties and enjoy the great weather and the beautiful sunset over Lake Springfield. Just don't get lost like I do around the lake!

24 again

I have to post another entry regarding 24. You may know it's one of my favorite shows. The 2 hour season finale is coming Monday. But...the big news....a video has surfaced of Keifer Sutherland tackling a Christmas tree! You have probably heard the story of this incident, when a very wasted Keifer (seen in this pic in his Lost Boys days) decided to take out a Christmas tree. Whether it was the lights or the Christmas tree smell that got to him, or maybe just the booze, he reportedly asked first if he could do it. Read and watch
here. Bet he had a wild time at the season wrap party too!

Because you're not a mom, stupid!

Warning, here comes another frivolous lawsuit. It was filed in California, where the LA Angels held a Mother's Day promotion. Women 18 and over got a tote bag. Not a big deal, you could probably get one at Shopko for under $10, but a nice souvenier nonetheless. A man named Michael Cohn has filed suit claiming sex and age discrimination. He says he and other fans are entitled to $4,000 in damages each. The team actually sent him 4 tote bags after he complained (he didn't deserve that) but he's proceeding with the suit. This all happened last Mother's Day, this year guess what? The tote bags were given to men and women 18 and over!

Halle and Bruce are Perfect Strangers

Another story that blows my mind. It has become increasingly easy for filmmakers to add or take out elements from a scene with digital editing. Michael Jordan interacted with animated characters in Space Jam, George Lucas changed ET, Star Wars, hell, just about all his movies with computer effects and let's not forget the first time we saw those dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. But now a love scene is being filmed with each of the participants filming seperately. That's right, when it was time for Halle Berry and Bruce Willis to do the scene for the movie Perfect Strangers, Bruce was busy. So they'll add him later! Now, first of all I think this is an amazing and pretty useless display of technology. Secondly, what could've been so important that Bruce missed a chance to make out with Halle Berry? Nothing short of a life or death situation would keep most guys away.

Kramer had a good idea

I was talking to my friend Mike the other day and he and I decided it's not realistic to pin too many hopes on winning a huge lottery jackpot. How then to become a millionaire and never work again? It takes one idea...one really big idea. Think about it, whoever invented the hula hoop, roller blades or cheese-on-a-stick probably never had to worry about money after the royalties started rolling in. Not sure if this is a million dollar idea, but I think it's similar to a Seinfeld plot. Remember the episode where Kramer has an idea for a cologne that smells like the beach? Well, how about fragrances that smell like dirt, a thunderstorm, tomatoes or even play-doh? Oh no, I'm not the one who thought this up. It's the folks at
Demeter fragrance. Maybe I think small, but I can't imagine too many people want to smell like a child's modeling compound! But someone's counting on this to be the next big thing while you and I trudge off to work.

Here's some news...

That story you saw on the news last night might have been cleverly disguised pr from some corporation. Read more
here.It seems companies send out pre-recorded segments and local news outlets sometimes use parts or all of the reports in their newscasts. These are called vnr's, video news releases. So if you see a segment on a new product or medical procedure, is it really an objective consumer education report, or an attempt by some corporation to introduce you to their product? Maybe the station doesn't have enough news personnel or resources to always dig up their own stories or maybe they feel there's some good info in the vnr. Whatever the case, if they didn't verify the claims in the report, should they be airing it? Now I'll be watching with an even more cynical mind tonight. And if you happen to see a segment about how listening to Steve Parker can make you smarter, happier, healthier, even richer, I hope you believe every word of it!

No Pants Day

I'm thinking of taking Friday off. No, not because of Cinco De Mayo and not just to get a 3-day weekend (although either reason would be sufficient.) It's because Friday is national No Pants Day. I guess we're all supposed to walk around in our underwear. Sure, this may sound like fun but I'm not sure I want to see my co-workers like that. Is Brian a boxers or briefs guy? I don't want to know! Imagine going to your favorite restaurant and the big, hairy guy preparing your food is wearing skimpy briefs (well, that image is a good appetite-suppresant.) Actually, I don't think this is an officially-sanctioned holiday so chances are not many people will "participate." Thank goodness! We don't need to see our congress men and women in their Fruit of the Looms!