Happy St Patrick's Day!

It seems weird to say that with people still waiting for power or not being able to stay at their own house because of storm damage. But I hope you are able to enjoy St Pat's Day. And let's be thankful we all survived. In fact, the party is expanded this year because the parade has been postponed to next Saturday at noon. Meantime, here's some tips for those who've had one too many:
Symptom: Feet cold and wet. Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle. Action: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
Symptom: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. Fault: Glass empty. Action: Get someone to buy you another.
Symptom: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. Fault: You have fallen over backward. Action: Have yourself chained to the bar.